Steve Heywood – ‘Superman’
He’s superman Steve thanks for asking. Steve is the band herder; like gathering sheep, Steve takes on the major responsibility of locating and positioning band members. Could they be at the bar? Outside a dodgy kebab van? Perhaps they’re stuck in a distant field, Steve will find them. However, he never seems to have this problem when buying a round or paying the band. Oh yes and he also plays trumpet.You will find him shouting out facebook/soundcloud, or just insulting the crowd (sometimes).
Michael Broaders – ‘Mr Apathetic’
Michael used to have a job, but he was forced to leave when he drove a combine harvester through the office doing a flaming windmill. With his usual response of “I can’t see what the problem is,” he was soon out on the street where he follows random passers-by with his sousaphone doing a great big Oom-Pah.You will find him on a day to day basis saying “Get out of my house,” even if he’s in your house. Not a fan of festivals, we only expect this erratic behaviour to increase as the season continues
Charlie Cruickshank – ‘Admiral Boomshank’
It is unknown whether Admiral Boomshank will ever make it to a gig. A man in his own time zone, if you lose sight of him for just a split second then you may not see him again. If this man is seen please point him in the direction of the stage and hope for the best. Once on stage Charlie’s sax will dazzle its way through the set and leave you mesmerised by the the slick playing.You will find him, or will you?
Sam Le Breton – ‘Pocket Rocket’
A school teacher by day, Sam turns into a Pocket Rocket of a saxophone player at night. She’s feisty and has been known to bring the band to order with just one home baked cookie or an evil stare. On one infamous occasion she was known to put the whole band in detention. But when on stage the music kicks in and this power house of a tenor sax player gets going on some seriously funky riffsYou will find her jumping around and having a good time, but if she’s not…..
George Turner – ‘Poser’
Stop, look, stare, be impressed: George is on stage. Known to open sets with spontaneous bouts of sexual healing, be careful if he lends you his hat as that is definitely where he has his home. His on stage suaveness leaves the rest of the band in the shade and he has a mean thrust.You will find him next to you when you least expect it. Prepare to be charmed by his large bone and sweet moves.
Dan King – ‘The King’
Dan apparently got slightly confused with the term ‘Heavy Metal’ when joining the band. His colourful clothes make him stand out, often requiring sunglasses to be worn when looking in his direction. The king of gliss and many other things he will leave you smitten by his ability to add vibrato to notes so short you didn’t think it was possible.You will find Dan at the bar.
Leo Petrokofsky – ‘Eh-oh’
Starting his criminal days early on The Teletubbies, Leo can build a tower and knock it down. The multitasker of the band he is both able to drink and stand up, much to the other members envy. Going for the top notes his face often turns the same colour as his hair, or else his hands are taking a pounding as he adds a funky percussion to the proceedings.You will find him ‘at work’ playing numerous computer games and getting paid to do it. Never one to say no to a party he is well known for his ability to stay behind after the rest of the band has left, and somehow make it home the next day.
Chris Hutchinson – ‘The Hutchinson 5’
With big hair, a big ginger beard and a remarkable ability on the drums Chris reminds us of our favourite Muppets character … Kermit. You won’t find a funkier drummer with his Jazz, Swing and Waltz. He is funkier than a mosquito’s tweeter.You will find him roaming the street with a boombox and playing some rare funk to whoever will listen. If spotted make sure you point and shout, ‘Beard.’